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A pefect example would be next month. Would mind having a sexy, atheletic and intelligent girl to exchange conversations with.
I'm a new mom in a new state my hubs and I moved to his home state of Minnesota from my home state of California in We welcomed our son in August of this year! That all being said, I have been trying to make some mom friends, especially during these crappy cold winters. But it's a tough market here. The women whom I've met, while very nice, are just, to be honest, too girly. I hate crafting, not a fan of cooking, despise shopping and would rather spend time hiking with our babies, watching football with the kiddos with friends or doing something active.
I've also noticed the typical trend of groups of women turning into clucking hens, talking about another mom's weight or chatting about the latest soap opera, which I RUN from.
My problem is that I don't seem to communicate well with most women. I'm simply not interested in most conversations and always feel like I'm coming across as awkward. I'm a super outgoing person so I try to make the best of it.
But when I encounter another Tom-boyish girl or guy or lesbian even I'm completely straight , I feel like I can be myself. And men are just always so easy going, don't gossip, and generally love to be active, which is why I've always preferred their company. But now, being a mom, I'm craving strong female friendships again. Do I suck it up and try to make friends with the "typical" woman aforementioned. Is there something wrong with me?
I have written about the importance of mom friends here , and there is a video detailing how I meet mom friends here Stroller Strides, meetup groups, randomly in the park, and Mommy and Me classes. But it can be tough to find women you click with.
Since you do have a group of girlfriends, you obviously have made connections with women in the past, but it's worth thinking about what in your early life may have made you feel out of step with most women. Was your mother similar to you, or was she a girly type? If she was similar to you, without much in common with most "traditional" women, you may not have learned how to interact easily with women from your female role model.
If she was very traditionally feminine, I would imagine you felt out of step with her as well, and this can carry over now. Either way, you seem like you have a long standing pattern of assuming that you won't fit in with women, and this self-fulfilling prophecy shoots you in the foot.
Try thinking more positively about the prospect of meeting kindred spirits. Do activities that you enjoy and try to meet people there. I don't enjoy scrapbooking, so I wouldn't go to a scrapbooking club and expect to meet friends there.
You also need to re-examine your idea of the "typical" woman. I know many laid back, active women, and many anxious sedentary men. I would say that the typical woman you'll meet at, for example, the gym, will be active.
The typical woman you might meet at a yoga class would be more laid back. Just go where the people are that you might like.
Regarding the small talk issue: In general, Highly Sensitive People don't like small talk, introverts don't like small talk, and I particularly hate small talk , so I get you.
But if this is the case, how come you don't like women? More women like to talk about deep emotional topics to bond with friends. Men usually bond by engaging in shared activities golf, drinking, skiing, whatever. You may feel awkward because you're actually an introvert or an HSP trying to engage with extroverts. Here, I discuss the idea of the extroverted introvert.
To conclude, here are my recommendations: Then, find things you like to do, meet women at them, psych yourself up to ask for their contact info, and then contact them and hang out. It will get easier both with practice and with a more positive and glass-half-full type of perspective.
This post was originally published here on Dr. This blog is not intended as diagnosis, assessment, or treatment, and should not replace consultation with your medical provider. Tap here to turn on desktop notifications to get the news sent straight to you. Friends talking on park bench. Reader No Girlfriends writes: Go to mobile site.
If that's what you want, more power to you. I agree with you but I still think it's okay for a woman to look for friends on dating sites if that's what she want to do.
Thank you Maria Reply. Even paid dating sites don't cut it. As someone who has been on a few dating sites myself, I always found that the people who were more serious about actually finding someone were those on a paid site or who paid for their membership in some way. Kudos on his courage. Supervillain Send a private message.
Always found it hilarious. Well then, you sure you're in the right place? Besides - it usually just means "only hit on me if you're mighty confident and have something to back that confidence up". I've slept with "friends only" on the first date, they usually just don't want to be judged. There's nothing wrong with looking for a "friend" on a dating site but it is like looking for spare parts for your car in a car dealership.
Theoretically, you could find what you are looking for, but in reality, you are in the wrong department. Cali and hiero are making a lot of sense so instead of looking at it as an attack on the entire gender, try reading and comprehend what they are trying to say. If you want to look for friend, that's perfectly fine, but you have no grounds to be mad at men for not wanting to just be your friend. They are seeking love, not friendships.
However, that is not to say they don't intend to be your friend. They do, but they want more than the friendship and that's perfectly fine. Hiero is right, there are a lot of women out there who are a plain pain in the ass, using sex as a bargaining chip or a rewarding tool. No wonder men are not interested in dating. I have stopped dating several years ago because the downsides outweigh the benefits. Why should I bust my hump trying to get a girl who thinks that the only thing I'm after is sex????
If you think so little of me or my gender in general, why should I waste my time with you???? If all men are pigs who are just after sex, then why do you bother dating us? If I give you attention, I'm a horny pig.
If I don't give you any attention, I'm probably weird, gay, super ultra shy, asexual, scardy cat. There's no way to please some of you so the best choice is to not do anything at all. If I'm not valued for my efforts, I'll simply move on to something more rewarding such as my career or hobbies. Yeah, though this isn't online dating situation. There was this one woman complaining in her profile that she had a guy over at her place, they were watching TV together on her bed.
Apparently, he was getting handsy with her and she complained about it on her profile, stating that HE said, "I can't not want to sleep with a woman if I'm laying next to her in bed.
I commented, "Oh, and if he didn't try to make a move, you'd probably think he's gay or something wrong with him. Either way, he loses! We all have our problems and yet most of us don't feel the need to make it public knowledge. She was just looking for sympathy. I tend to distrust women who try to make themselves look like the victim. There are always two sides to each story. She was laying on bed with a guy watching TV.
For most guys that's like a huge green light saying "I'm here, kiss me please". I mean, what did she expect??? I'm not sure who this chick is, but I don't go lying in bed with girls I have no interest in for this very reason.
This chick sounds like trouble. That kind of whining on social media would make me steer clear from her. TheGirlCode Send a private message.
Okay so here's the thing. I am seeking a relationship 2. I am seeking a long term relationship 3. I want to date but nothing serious 4.
I am seeking friends etc etc etc I'm sure you get the point. I was having a conversation with a male friend of mine one day and he was very frustrated.
He have been on tons of dating websites and apps FREE and had no luck. Finally he broke down and paid for an upgrade on one of the dating apps. He was the type of guy who never wanted to spend the extra money to pay for a membership on any dating website he was on. Anyway, to make a long story short he comes to me a couple weeks later in excitement, going on about how he met a new lady from the dating website. And that was last year. They are still together now.
And I believe that he is right. You can't get mad when the website list it as one of the reasons you can be on it in the first place! As someone who has been on a few dating sites myself, I always found that the people who were more serious about actually finding someone were those on a paid site or who paid for their membership in some way. No one wants to spend money and waste it on nothing. I seen my fair share of men who used "dating sites" for a hookup or a "date but nothing serious" and to find friends.
So trust me it's not just the women who do things like this. NOW, here's my honest thoughts. I would probably care more if I were younger. But I have grown and gotten allot wiser. I now realize that we are all looking for something. Whether it's friendship, to hookup, FWB, just to date or finding a serious relationship. We are ALL looking for something. No matter if you meet at a grocery store, volunteering at the shelter, school or in this case However you choose to find it is none of my business.
In all honesty, there aren't many places to go for the people who simply want to find friends. It's easy to tell these people to "go out in the real world" and find them. But let's be real here men Think back to just 25 years ago. Meeting people online in any fashion was considered very dangerous and it was discouraged.
If you can meet potential partners online then why can't you meet friends? Like I said in the beginning. I don't agree with people who go on serious dating websites just to look for a friend. But if you're on one of those cheesy, meet new people, "everyone's welcome" sites then I say Even paid dating sites don't cut it.
So paying MEN try to contact what I refer to as "zombie" profiles, only to never have the email read. Because if you're not a PAID subscriber I was taught to look at things as the glass half full. And I assumed everyone else was well. So I couldn't understand why a guy would want to date me but not be my friend. Maybe other women think that way as well. Also this was well before online dating. Don't worry I am reformed and understand better the dynamic between men and women.
But I do think that some women want to "collect" male friends who can "fill in the blanks" so to speak when their preferred dating horizon is arid. Be thankful then for those who come out and say it. Those are called emotional fluffers. I feel bad for the bastards. I've been on dating sites and will tell you that when I see a page that says "Looking for Friends" I automatically don't take them serious. We go out, hook up as in have sex and I either date them a second or third time or just move on.
To me it sounds like they are confused on what they want usually after a recent breakup or are just looking to sleep around. Since "Looking for Friends" is better than selecting "Casual Relationship" in the drop down most opt for that. If I see someone who is looking for a "Long Term" I take them serious of course. Edited on July 9, at Ask a New Question expand. Trending in Dating Purestock09 My now ex gf cheated on me for 6 months, i found out, we broke up and she immediately had sex with someone else.
What do i do? Anonymous Me and my gf is planning to have sex but I'm a virgin and she isn't what should i do? Anonymous Is it too soon to tell? One of my buddies found his wife while running the stairs in Santa Monica. Not just any girls, though. These are young women who want to make a difference in the world.
One of my buddies met his girl at the Latino Leadership Conference. Your best bet is to frequent a busier location.
Before I was married, I had many a friend make fun of me for asking what book a girl was reading. Good girls love to mentor kids and as a good guy, so do you. Here in LA, there is a group called Red Eye , which does mentoring activities every Saturday with at-risk youth. You might be surprised how many quality girls come out every week to help out.
There might be activities in your community you can get involved in as well like the Ronald McDonald House , Habitat for Humanity , feeding the homeless, a literacy council, etc. Are you passionate about a certain cause? You can find a good girl who has the same political views and passions as you. Get involved in an election campaign. Look for Republican or Democratic meet-up groups in your area.
Here are some examples of other groups you might want to attend if they fit your passions: The couple that plays together, stays together. I know a hospital director who met his wife on the golf course. They play every weekend now. Do any of these spark an interest in you? Try an improve class, language class, cooking class, wine-tasting class, music class, photography workshops, etc. Check and see if there is a small group or bible study you can attend.
The best way to find a good girl is through friends. Superbowl, birthday, costume parties, or even game night. Maybe a river float trip? Have you ever played Mafia? One of the best party games ever! Over a year ago, I saw my wife at a Generosity Water fundraising event. You might find a good girl at a gala in your area too. Get out and about.
Become known in your community. Easy is where the majority of guys are looking, which makes the level of competition higher. Be thoughtful and be creative, and you will separate from the pack. Not to mention, these skills are going to help you on down the line too. Good luck to you good guy swaggers. Keep us updated on your adventure. What if you have a full time job that consumes all your time and mostly consists of men?
Golly — what sort of job do you do. My son is a graduate veterinarian and his life is also consumed by work, so he meets people on tinder. Are you ready to be loved a Million Ways! I like to open doors and hold hands while walking down the street. I enjoy surprising a lady. I am loyal, patient, respectful, considerate, sociable, honest and romantic.
I am a cuddly Teddy Bear with a great sense of humor. Coffee shops, gyms, and parties? These three places are great if you want a liberal sexually promiscuous , image conscious vain and vapid , or a partychick immature… and promiscuous. But a good girl? I guess it depends which coffee shop or gym. I have to say, I should look into the hobby classes and volunteering, really good suggestion.
Yes, some women that you meet will already have a boyfriend, fiance or husband, that doesn’t mean you can’t walk over to check for yourself. “Why can’t I find a nice girl? If you want find a nice girl for yourself, you’ve got to be prepared to get out there and meet some single women, even if it means attending a speed dating. Nov 30, · 'I Don't Have Female Friends Because I Don't Like Most Women' The women whom I've met, while very nice, are just, to be honest, too girly. Then, find things you like to do, meet women . Nice's best % FREE online dating site. Meet loads of available single women in Nice with Mingle2's Nice dating services! Find a girlfriend or lover in Nice, or just have fun flirting online with Nice single girls.